More Connection With Less On Your Mind
It’s a few days away from the official start of summer, and we’re already feeling it here in Sonoma County. The weather is warm. Kids are out of school. And there’s more social gatherings popping up on my calendar. More time with family and friends is a hallmark of summertime.
Unfortunately that doesn’t always mean more connection. That’s why this Mind experiment is designed to help you explore how to have more presence, love, and connection.
First let me dispel a common myth—it’s takes work to connect with people. Actually the opposite is true. Connection happens when you have less on your mind. Connection happens when you are spending more time being with another person, and less time being with your thinking about how to be with another person.
Spirit Experiment: Listen with less on your mind. Over the next few weeks when you are with someone you want to connect with, see how much you can listen without an agenda, listen with curiosity for their perspective, listen for understanding or a feeling. See how much less you can listen to your thinking about your idea of the other person, listen to your solution to their problem, or listen to your dinner plans.
What this does NOT look like:
- Listening to challenge, negate, or affirm.
- Listening to your mental chatter.
- Giving advice.
What this DOES look like:
- Listening for understanding without proof or evidence.
- Listening for a feeling.
- Asking open ended questions.
Set yourself up for success and over the next few weeks experiment with listening with less on your mind during easy conversations. Hear your thoughts coming and going. See your habits of listening. Notice what you are hearing that is spoken and unspoken. Ask questions that you don’t know the answer to.
The good news is that when you catch yourself caught up in your thinking, you don’t need to do anything other than not take it seriously and re-aim towards listening to the other being. The thinking will pass, and you’ll return to presence, love, and connection.
I’m serious about the not taking it too seriously part. When you’re trying too hard to be a good listener, you’re more likely to end up stuck in your thinking and missing what you are listening to. And don’t be hard on yourself if you catch yourself caught up in your thinking a lot. Sometimes it’s useful to listen for information, just not when you’re looking for connection.
This experiment will help you break habits of listening, so you have the option to listen with less on your mind. You’ll have the option to be present, connected, and full of love. And you might just find that it's useful in more situations than you imagined. Let me know how it goes.
If this resonates with you, make sure to check out our upcoming workshops. A great way to immerse yourself in a deeper understanding of state of mind would be to joins us June 25th for the introductory class and then again on June 29th for a class specifically focused on relationships.
Wisdom Workshop:Resiliency 101–The Art and Science of Thriving
In this uplifting workshop you’ll learn how your mind works, so you can enjoy more peace of mind and:
- Supercharge your performance
- Improve your relationships
- Enter the healing zone
Because less mental stress (worry, rumination, over-analysis, frustration, guilt) isn’t just more enjoyable, it’s correlated with better physical health. And the bonus is that when you understand your state of mind better, it’s easier to make better decisions to support your health.
The next workshop is next Tuesday and seats are limited, so put it in your calendar now and click this link to register or find a future date that works for you:
Saturday Workshops:I've teamed up for some special Saturday workshops with my mentor, friend, and colleague Julie Gleeson. We'll be exploring how to have more resilient relationships because my patients tell me relationships are one of their biggest stressors. We both have a lot of experience personally and in helping others uncover peace, connection, understanding, and joy in relationships. I am sure the conversations will be helpful and humorous.
Finding Family and Relationship Peace
During the heart of summer family time, we’re hosting a Saturday workshop to support resiliency in families and relationships.
- Imagine coming home to sanctuary, not chaos…..
- Imagine being on vacation and actually connecting……
- Imagine people who are warm with each other, and genuinely enjoy being together….
- Imagine enjoying the roller coaster ride, not fearing it.
More information and registration to save your seat:
Dealing with Difficult People
When I got a fresh perspective on romantic relationships, all my relationships improved. So much so that friends and colleagues started asking me for relationship advice. Come explore the understanding that will help you find peace with family, career, and romantic relationships.
- Are there people in your life who are unreasonable?
- Do you walk on eggshells around someone?
- Have you given up on a relationship completely and wish you had another option?
More information and registration to save your seat:
These workshops will be held in Julie’s beautiful office in Moraga, which is just over an hour drive from Santa Rosa on a Saturday. It’s a perfect time to bring a friend or loved one and make a day out of it. During the drive home you can chat about what insights you had or just relish in the good feeling together.
What We’re Treating in the ClinicLately I've been seeing a increase in patients with insomnia and anxiety. That's common at the start of the summer season. The good news is that I practice a style of gentle acupuncture that is effective at reducing anxiety as soon as the treatment starts. And most patients report they sleep better after acupuncture even when I'm not focusing on that, so you can imagine how helpful it could be for sleep if that was our focus.
Existing patients can book online here. Make sure you get a confirmation email and click "CONFIRM" in that email.
You can access our online booking anytime by clicking anywhere on our website that says "make an appointment" or "book now" and follow the breadcrumbs to "Existing Patients" and "Book Online". Existing patients are always welcome to call or email us if you prefer to schedule that way or you’re not finding any appointments that work for you online.
New patients need to call or email us to set up their first appointment because there is just too much information we need to share with you.
Happy Mind Explorations!
Christina Ness-Hawks, LAc