I’m not into Valentines Day. I’m not interested in going to restaurants when they are exceptionally crowded and I’ve never been a big fan of roses. Plus every moment is an opportunity to express your love; why wait for just one day? This is a good thing for my husband who, after working in the restaurant industry for over 10 years when I met him, had grown to have some distaste for Valentine’s day.
But I love “love”!
I believe we should welcome any excuse to deepen our love and share it with the world. Love makes you feel alive and connected to life, even in the most ordinary moments. More feelings of love aren’t just more enjoyable, they’re correlated with better physical health too.
How do you experience more love? It starts with more forgiveness. I think the problem most people have with forgiveness is that they think that if we forgive someone for their behavior, it’s more likely to happen again. But that’s not the forgiveness I’m talking about.
People’s behavior comes from their thinking and understanding in the moment. If we all had the same thinking and understanding, we’d all have the same behavior. But that’s what makes the world interesting. We all have different perspectives. Even when we think we are agreeing with someone, we still have slightly different perspectives.
That’s good news, because if someone did some behavior you didn’t like, you don’t have to agree with their behavior in order to forgive them. You can forgive their humanness instead. You can see that they are doing the best they can to have a good experience in life given the thinking and understanding they have in the moment. In fact, if you had their exact same thinking and understanding in the moment, you would do the exact same behavior as them.
Want to see how this works in the world? Try this experiment:
Mind Experiment: For the next 2 weeks, when judgmental feelings arise, remind yourself that people are innocently doing the best they can given their thinking and understanding in the moment. And see what options for understanding, forgiveness, and love follow.
Looking in the direction of people’s innocent misunderstandings does not excuse their behavior and make you a doormat. Instead it helps you see that we all have a variety of thoughts and moods. We all lose our bearings at times, and the behaviors that follow can be less than ideal. From this place of understanding the humanness of it, you may be surprised what options you will have for moving on unbothered by the behavior or addressing the behavior from a truly fresh perspective.
You may need to start by practicing seeing your own innocence. Our own behaviors come from the thinking that we have in the moment. And we all know that our thinking changes. So go ahead and forgive yourself for that thing you did that you now realize wasn’t such a great idea. You thought one way and did something. Now your thoughts have changed and you would do it differently next time. No need to judge yourself–that was so human of you.
With less judgmental thoughts about yourself, your loved ones, your coworkers, and clients, you’ll have more understanding and forgiveness, be less affected by their actions, and most importantly have more access to wisdom that will guide you to what to do next. From this kind of forgiveness, more love arises. The kind of deep love that has us feeling peaceful, alive, and connected to life.
Give it a try and let me know what you see about forgiveness and love.
Upcoming Events:Interested in feeling more peace of mind? Like to have more energy? Want to reduce your inflammation and improve your immune system? Join us for our February state of mind workshop to learn the inside-out understanding that allows people to thrive regardless of circumstances.
It’s this Tuesday and space is limited, so click this link to register and save your seat, or find a future date that works for you:
In this uplifting workshop you’ll learn how your mind works, so you can enjoy more peace of mind and:
- Supercharge your performance
- Improve your relationships
- Enter the healing zone
Because less mental stress (worry, rumination, frustration, guilt, over-analysis) isn’t just more enjoyable, it’s correlated with better physical health. And the bonus is that when you understand your state of mind better, it’s easier to make better decisions to support your health.
Tuition is $20 and all proceeds will be donated to the Ceres Community Project. Ceres supports the resiliency of our community with nutritious meals for families coping with serious illness. And they empower youth by teaching them to grow and cook the meals. If you’re not familiar with them, check them out!
The Pollen Is ComingDid you know that now is the best time to use Chinese Medicine to get ready for allergy season? Acupuncture, herbs, dietary changes, and some simple self care can help balance your immune system so it won’t overreact to the spring pollens. Most people come in when their symptoms hit and, yes, I can definitely help reduce your symptoms and get your immune system back on track. But wouldn’t it be better to get ahead of the pollens and prevent the overreaction and symptoms from wiping you out?
Existing patients can book online here. Make sure you get a confirmation email and click “CONFIRM” in that email.
You can access our online booking anytime by clicking anywhere on our website that says “make an appointment” or “book now” and follow the breadcrumbs to “Existing Patients” and “Book Online”. Existing patients are always welcome to call or email us if you prefer to schedule that way or you’re not finding any appointments that work for you online.
New patients need to call or email us to set up their first appointment because there is just too much information we need to share with you.
Happy Mind Explorations!
Christina Ness-Hawks, LAc